Directionally Impaired
by cheshirejin
Summary: What happens when two guys with lousy senses of direction happen to be lost in the same place at the same time? Ranma one half, Fruits Basket crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**Directionally Impaired **

He walked along his fists in his pockets eyes on the sidewalk in front of him. He didn't have to look up to know he was lost again, he had noticed that a while ago. He had chosen a direction and headed that way hoping to get to more familiar territory, but so far no luck. Then something caught his eye, a glimpse of red on the other side of the road. He looked up then to see the red was a brightly lacquered bamboo umbrella. Said umbrella was tucked in the bedroll loop under the backpack of a young man who stood on the opposite sidewalk. Most importantly, the guy was looking at a map. He crossed the roadway remembering to look for traffic about three quarters of the way across. Luckily this wasn't a busy road. As he came up behind the other fellow he could see the map over his shoulder. He looked at it puzzled for a moment, and then tilted his head to the left. Yep, the guy was holding the map sideways. "Can I borrow this for a second?" he asked as he reached out around the guy, totally ignoring the concept of personal space, and gently guided his arms until the map was upright, then traced a path from the street they were on to the place he was supposed to be. It was going to take a long time to get there from here. The map guy just stood frozen, turning a funny shade of red but not saying anything.

"Haru!" a familiar voice was shouting, he looked up to see a black car pull over a few meters away. Momiji sprang out and ran to him. "We need to hurry if you are going to be in the exhibition match at Furinkan high today. It's a good thing 'Hari put that tracking dev….er never mind, just hurry up and get in the car."

"Wait did you say Furinkan high? That's where I was going too." The map guy shouted following Haru toward the car "Is there any way I could get a ride, I am fighting in the martial arts exhibition for the Tendo training hall. My name is Ryoga Hibiki."

It took almost no convincing to get them to agree to give Ryoga a ride. It was on their way after all. Apparently 'Mr. lack of personal space' was named Haru and had a sense of direction similar to his own. Ryoga was still a little creeped out by how the guy had appeared behind him and grabbed his arms like that without him sensing anything coming.

It didn't take long to arrive at Furinkan high. The small parking lot was filling up and Haru noticed a familiar bus. "The Yuki fan club girls are here already" he mused. Then after some thought, he said "I should go and warn him to keep on his toes."

In the gym, where the exhibition was to be, mats were laid out covering a fourth of the gym. Rows of seating filled rest of the large building and some spectators were still left standing on the sides. The participants were called and introduced: Ryoga Ranmma and Akane for the Tendo dojo plus the school kendo champion Kuno represented Ferenkan high. Yuki, Kyou, Kagura, and Haru were the participants from the Sohma dojo.

After he was introduced Tatewaki Kuno made his way through the audience to get better acquainted with a mysterious beauty in a long lacy gothic black dress he had spotted. He approached her and her two companions a cute brunette and a tall blonde.

"But who is this vision of loveliness I see before me?" He asked looking straight into the expressionless face of Saki Hanajima. "Surely one so delicate and beautiful as yourself is not all alone? If so I Tatewaki Kuno shall take it upon myself to be your escort and protector during your visit here."

"How courteous of you but I fear I must decline as I am here with friends." Hana replied expressionlessly. Reaching out to take hold of the brunette's hand, she shifted in front of her protectively. The very air around them seemed to waver threateningly. Her tall, blonde friend was also staring daggers at him.

"In that case, farewell my midnight blossom, until we meet again." He bowed courteously and turned to leave. This brought him face to face with an unusual looking man in a red mandarin robe with long silver hair.

"I am impressed with your use of the language to express yourself. I had all but given up on hearing lyrical eloquence conjuring romance flow through the air ever again in my lifetime." The man said enthusiastically locking his gaze on Kuno's eyes.

"The proper use of words to express oneself is integral to any understanding of the workings of the human heart is it not?" Kuno replied breaking eye contact first color rising on his cheeks.

"I concur with that response completely, for of all the ways to convey ones innermost feelings be it with soft whispers or loud proclamations, there are few better ways to encourage the beautiful bloom of romance to bud within ones soul than to speak that which is so deeply felt." The man in red seemed to be in his own world as he gracefully gestured with his hands as if he was picking a flower and holding it to his heart.

"Yes so true and right away I must go and tell Akane Tendo and the Pigtail girl how I feel," he clenched his fist in front of him as he spoke earnestly. "But alas I fear they will never accept my inability to choose between them. So what chance do I have for happiness? Oh the tortures of a romantic soul, the crux being how to decide between two goddesses who are both the embodiment of my every desire." Kuno, deep in thought on his own issues, failed to notice a man walking up behind him until…

"Aa-ya are you cheating on me?" Shigure said placing a hand on Kuno's shoulder, adroitly pushing him to the side as he made his way to his lifelong friend.

"Oh never 'Gure, you are the life force that pounds… through my very veins. I could never forsake you," rushing up to Shigure and giving him an overzealous hug, followed by both giving a thumbs up sign to each other. "Ayway 'Gure I'd like you to meet Tatewaki Kuno, we have been having a lovely conversation about romance and language. In fact, speaking of romance, here is my business car… Where'd he go?"

"Would you two quit clowning and get over here the match is about to start." Hatori said appearing as if out of nowhere.

"What the hell was that about?" Arisa Uotoni wondered out loud as she witnessed the whole scene play out before her. Including Kuno's hasty retreat from the display Ayame and Shigure were putting on.

Hana just shrugged. "Perhaps they have a concession stand with snacks out in the courtyard." She finally said moving toward the doors.

An announcement came over the sound system: "our first exhibition match will be the women's bout with Akane Tendo for the Tendo school of anything goes martial arts, and Kagura Sohma for the Sohma family dojo."


	2. Chapter 2

WARNINGS: not much, some mild cussing.

"Now folks, remember this is an exhibition match to show the different style each dojo uses, so we'll use a three point system today. No head shots or below the belt hits allowed. The first one to score three legal hits, knock the other down for a three count or knock them out of bounds will be declared the winner…" The ring announcer was going over the rules as the participants got ready for the first match.

"Kyo you will be cheering for me won't you?" Kagura pleaded.

"You are on our team it wouldn't make sense for me to hope the other side wins would it?" Kyo answered with a sigh.

"Oh Kyo, give me a kiss for luck." Kagura said flinging herself at him.

"Hell no!" He shouted sidestepping her advance.

"Please Kyo, a kiss would bring me good luck I just know it." She said quietly pouting out her bottom lip and giving him puppy eyes.

"What part of no don't you understand?" He quipped.

"Kiss me or die!" She shrieked flinging herself at him again this time managing to get a hold of him and was struggling to kiss him. She was finally satisfied after placing a flurry of kisses on his cheeks and forehead. She let go of him and walked away smiling smugly. Then turned back charging toward him full speed "Just one real kiss for luck Kyo that's all I want."

"Uh, be careful with this one Akane. She looks tough." Ranma said showing some concern for his fiancé.

"Thanks a lot Ranma." Akane shot back at him sarcastically.

"What'd I…?"

"Thanks so much for the vote of confidence." She said tersely.

"That's not…"

"You know, if you think I can't handle it why don't you fight her yourself?" She asked obviously steamed by the implied insult to her abilities as a fighter.

"Hey I am just saying that you should be careful, she's cute and all but she seems really strong." Ranma wasn't helping his case any.

"What…? You jerk! Well I am sure the guy you are fighting will be able to beat you no problem too; so there." She said sticking her tongue out at him.

"Who? The guy with the purple hair? Nah, but if he's your type I'll be glad to introduce you! Maybe he likes girls with thick thighs." Said Ranma ready to start a real argument.

"No way he looks like kind of girly and you know I don't want any man that could be mistaken for a girl, right Ranma? Maybe if he was manlier like the handsome orange haired guy I'd be interested." Akane said loudly, drawing a few looks from the Sohmas grouped near the ring.

'Great.' thought Yuki 'my effeminate looks strike again.' He felt someone grip the belt of his gi. Yuki waved his cousin off "It's al right Haru, she is entitled to her opinion." he told the younger male with a sigh.

"That scrawny fellow? Get real! I bet he can't even fight." Ranma pouted.

"Whatever, you're just afraid to loose against someone who is ten times better looking than you are." Akane teased.

"I am not…He is not!"

"Is too! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fight to go to." She said as she turned away from him.

"Whatever, you are so uncute!" Ranma hollered after her.

Kagura finally released the cat of the zodiac from a half nelson, "Ok Kyo I have to go fight now, cheer for me." She said with a smile waggling her fingers at him in a little wave.

"Whatever, just go fight dammit. " He grumbled, not looking at her.

"You're just jealous cause I think Kyo-kun is so handsome and manly!" Akane shouted as a parting shot at Ranma. Unfortunately for her Kagura overheard it. Now both girls were fuming for different reasons as they faced each other on the fighting mats.

As the official signaled them the girls politely bowed to each other, then, before Akane had actually settled into a fighting stance Kagura launched herself at her eyes wild shouting "KYO'S MINE!" at the top of her lungs. She landed lightening quick double punches to Akane's midsection and a kick to the back of the ribs as she dodged unscathed around the stunned girl.

"That's three, its over" Haru said looking boredly at the girls.

"Not much of a fight." sighed Shigure.

"You stay away from my Kyo.!" Kagura leaned in and growled at Akane before she turned and walked off the mats. Then picking up a bounce to her step she headed back to glomp Kyo chanting "I won! I won!" happily.

"What just happened?" Akane wondered, standing in the middle of the ring and blinking dazedly.

"What'd I tell you?" Ranma hollered from the safety of the sidelines.

"Shut it Ranma I am not in the mood." Akane snapped at him.

"And You say I don't like losing." Ranma jeered, he was really starting to enjoy this.

"Shut up! It's your fault I lost." Akane yelled walking over to where Ranma was.

"Hey don't blame me, can't say I didn't warn you." Ranma countered staying just out of her reach.

"Will you just shut up all ready, you jerk!"

"You two have dating problems?" Kagura asked as she dragged Kyo past the fighting couple "Lucky me and Kyo don't have that type of trouble." she said hugging Kyo.

"Get off me dammit! Let go!" kyo yelled at Kagura trying to pry her off of his arm as they walk away.

"Were not dating!" Akane yelled after them crossly.

"Yeah who would want to date this uncute tomboy?" Ranma added.

"What did you call me?" Akane snarled getting up in his face.

"Ahh young love, they fight as if they have been married for years. Kids grow up so fast these days." Shigure said expansively as he walked by on his way to the concession booth.

"But of course the best part about fighting is the making up." Ayame added casually but gently, for her anyway, knocking their heads together on his way by so the young couple's lips meet each other in a kiss.

Hatori just followed behind them, glaring, just glad that their antics hadn't gotten either of them to transform so far that evening.

Akane and Ranma pulled away, blushing and sputtering, hardly able to look at each other. Their attacker/benefactor long gone by the time they had overcome the shock enough to react.

"Akane Tendo how dare you be so forward with Ranma!" Kodachi Kuno otherwise known as the black rose of martial art style gymnastics came storming onto the scene.

"Ranma how could you let that common woman kiss you in public like that what spell does she have over you my poor poor dear?" she continued in Ranma's direction trying to get her arms around him.

Ranma dodged and placed Akane between himself and the crazy lady. "Now Kodachi you know I …" Ranma was cut off by a tap on the shoulder.

"Ranma-san, I believe it is our turn to fight now." Yuki said politely, waiting to make sure Ranma was heading toward the ring before turning and walking that way slowly.

"Thanks for the rescue." Ranma told Yuki quietly, "You have no Idea how it is always being chased by crazy women."

"No, none at all." Yuki deadpanned. The Yuki Sohma fan club closing ranks the officially mandated ten feet behind him as they went.

"Who was that ethereal creature?" Kodachi asked as her eyes stayed glued to Yuki's entrancing backside. Two fan club members walked up one pinning a membership pen onto her shirt as the other pressed a rulebook into her hand. Their duties done, they moved on to initiate any more obvious new members to the club.


	3. Chapter 3

Akane walked quietly over to join her family after the match.

"Nice try sweetie!" Her oldest sister Kasumi said, smiling encouragingly.

"Nice try, But I still lost money betting on her," grumbled her other sister Nabiki.

Akane smiled a bit to herself. It was Nabiki's unique way of being supportive, letting her know she hadn't bet against her in the match.

"What happened out there?" Soun Tendo asked his daughter, concern showing on his face a small tear trickling down his cheek.

"I don't know dad," Akane answered, sheepishly. "She just charged like a mad boar or something and it caught me off guard. I really didn't expect it."

"Kagura can be like that." Haru said from behind them, making both jump out of their skin.

"Oh! You're one of the Sohmas right?" Akane asked once she recovered from the start, as Soun beat himself in the chest in the background; as if trying to restart a stopped heart.

"Name's Hatsuharu, and yes I am a Sohma. I would like it if you could apologize to Yuki for what you said about him Miss Tendo. He would never show it but it bothers him a lot to hear things like that."

"Oh no, he heard that? I am so embarrassed." she said, a deep red stain creeping up her cheeks. "I was just so mad at Ranma I guess I didn't think about what I was saying. I really didn't mean to sound as if I were putting Yuki down or anything. Of course I will apologize, right after the match." She finished with a decisive nod.

"It would mean a lot to him, thank you." Haru replied, bowing politely before turning to leave.

"Akane what's wrong what did this guy do to you? Are you blushing?" Ryouga said rushing in to rescue her from 'lack of personal space boy'.

"It's all right Ryouga, he just let me know I said some unkind things to Yuki earlier and I need to make up for it." She answered.

"I know!" Kasumi said suddenly. "Why don't we invite the Sohmas to the house later for dinner, I am sure after traveling here they had planned on eating at a restaurant, but they can eat for free at our place. Besides, I have a few recipes I wanted to try for banquet style dining anyway."

"That's a great idea, thanks sis." Akane said smiling brightly.

As Ranma and Yuki got ready to fight Akane yelled out: "Go Ranma! Kick his butt!" In answer to which Haru made a noncommittal lowing noise.

Back on the mats Yuki and Ranma bowed to each other then fell into fighting stances, sizing up the opposition.

From ringside a cheer "**Y-U-K-I we love Yuki ll-ll-lllove ll-ll-lll-love Yuki Yuki yay**…" could be heard.

Yuki rolled his eyes in frustration and embarrassment. Ranma saw it as his opportunity to attack. He came in with a high flying kick that fell short when his face met with Yuki's amazingly fast counter kick.

"Wow you are really quick." Ranma said rubbing his jaw as he planned his next move.

"Thank you but fast reflexes are innate; they are nothing I can really take credit for." Yuki said flatly.

"Well you should have let me finish," Ranma replied. "As I was saying you are fast, but not near fast enough." With that he launched an unbelievable flurry of punches using the _Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken_technique and within moments the fight was over. "He's pretty good." Ranma said dusting his hands together after Yuki hit the mat; "he actually blocked some of those hits."

There is a strained silence as the speed at which Yuki lost the match sank into the crowd, followed by a loud "YES!!" from Kyou. Who immediately looked embarrassed and mumbled something about 'At least now I know he can be beaten'.

"That's pretty lame carrot top, even for you. Aren't you guys on the same team?"

Uo asked in her typical 'charming' manner.

"Shut up!" Kyou snapped.

"And besides you haven't had your match yet so maybe you should shut it until after that. You could still get your ass kicked too you know." Uo added, teasing.

"I Will Not!" Kyou yelled his face turning red in anger.

"You won't what?" Asked Tohru as she and Hana arrived within earshot after giving their condolences on the match to Yuki.

"Never mind" grumbled Kyou looking away, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips at the site before him.

"Oh Yuki allow me to assist you in your time of need, whatever it takes to cheer my dear brother after his first real defeat, did I say defeat I meant minor setback." Ayame was rattling on as he helped a still-reeling Yuki from the ring, expertly deflecting the few members of the fan club that tried to approach their prince. Kazuma stepped in when one especially persistent girl tried to force her way between the brothers, risking a transformation of one or both of them. "Now young lady I don't know who you think you are, but this area is for members of my dojo and you are not one of my students so I am asking you to please leave." He stated calmly the look on his face enough to stop any sane person in their tracks.

"I am the rising star of martial arts gymnastics. In my school people know me as the Black Rose, Kodachi Kuno and I have a challenge for Yuki Sohma." Kodachi stated drawing herself up to her full height, which was quite a bit shorter than Kazuma's. (I said any _sane_ person)

"Black rose, a fine name. It doesn't suit you at all." An eerily quiet monotonous voice stated as a young girl dressed all in black seemed to mysteriously appear behind kodachi. "None of the male Sohmas will fight a woman, for they are true gentlemen. Your challenge is senseless; unless, of course you wish to reissue it to Kagura-san." She spoke quietly but somehow was heard perfectly in the noisy and crowded surroundings.

"And who are you?" kodachi asked whirling around to look at this new annoyance. She took in the long wavy black hair black lace gothic style clothes and deep almost pitch black eyes. "And I suppose you think Black Rose is a name more suited to you?" She asked with a sneer.

"No, my own name is good enough. I don't need pretentious trappings, nor to try to feel superior to others. My name is Saki Hanajima and I do not like the feel of your waves at all. Leave now." With the last words the air around the goth-dressed girl seemed to grow dense and a very uncomfortable feeling crawled both over and under the skin of the black rose. She decided it might just be a bad idea to hang around much longer.

//Exit kodachi stage left.//


End file.
